So, our friend the micro-farmer was called out of town this week and needed some one to mind things for a few days while she was away. "Take care of and milk the goats, water, keep an eye on stuff... How hard could it be?" wondered Linda and proceeded to volunteer to find out. And she did.
It's hard.
The Schedule:
7:00 am. Add the final ingredient to the 'goat chow'
7:30 am- Feed chickens, dog and cats. Haul the bucket of 'Goat chow' out to the goats and put some in a pan on the milking stand. Get each goat, get them on the stand and milk them. After each is done they are put back in their individual pens with the rest of their morning feed. Fill the water pans in the pens and paddock. Open the door to the paddock and let the goats out. Clean the pens and sweep the barn. Then shut the doors and go get breakfast and make more goat chow, strain the milk and refrigerate it.
4pm. Bring the goats into the barn. Separate the babies from the moms and let the moms out to graze and make milk. Feed chickens, dogs and cats. put down fresh bedding in the goat pens and a little hay for them to gnosh on through the night.
6 pm Let the goats in and milk them again, one at a time and in order. This is a longer milking so they need more feed to keep their interest. Put goats in their pens for evening feeding. Let the babies in with their moms. Then back to the house to the house make dinner, make more goat chow and strain the milk.
There, that's not so bad, right? In theory anyway...
Here's what really happens.
It started out OK. Linda added the final ingredient to the goat chow and had a cup of coffee. Then time to feed the chickens. This turned out to be pretty easy as by then they were waiting at the door. Pooping on the stoop. Charming. Then she had to grab the bucket of goat chow to take to the barn. This is a five gallon bucket of water, grain and beet pulp plus the supplement. If you've never carried one of these here's a clue: it's bloody heavy. Particularly for a modest-sized 50 year old desk jockey. OK, it's only about 30 yards to the barn, it's strenuous but doable.
Next it's time to put the goats in the milking stand. On the stand there is a shelf for a pan of goat chow to encourage the goat to stand still while you milk it. Easy peasy. The correct goat was brought out of it's pen and onto the milking stand. Of course until it's head was buckled into the harness and it's nose was actually buried in the chow it viewed this event with deep suspicion. Pretty much each one had to be dragged onto the platform by main force while it tried desperately to get at the chow without going to the extreme of actually getting on the milking stand. Did I mention some of them have horns? And that they are not afraid to use them? Then at last the milking commenced.
There is a knack to milking goats. There is special knack to milking a goat that does not want to be milked. Few goats in fact appear to actually want to be milked. Escape-artist baby goats only add spice to the occasion. After she finished she had to unbuckle each goat, convince it to get in it's pen and give it the rest of it's breakfast. Repeat entire circus five times, once for each momma goat.
Time to fill the water pans in the pens and paddock. This means taking another five-gallon bucket, filling it at one of the rain cachement barrels and hauling it to each pen and the paddock. Note that a five gallon bucket of water is quite heavy and, this being Juneuary in the Pacific North Wet, it's muddy. So the water buckets may be heavy but at least the footing is tricky.
Then it's time to let the goats out into the paddock. Only now it's five mommas and six babies all at once. Each and every momma goat is absolutely convinced that there is more goat chow hidden in the barn if they can only find it and of course each baby goat wishes to be with it's momma... or maybe that one's mamma. Or to find out what is up there... All eleven of the contrary creatures want to do something, anything, other than going out the door. But eventually she managed it.
After all of that cleaning goat poop and urine-soaked straw out of the pens and sweeping the barn seems like a spa-day. Then it's back to the house to make breakfast and the evening's goat-chow and to strain the milk- which thank God is actually only slightly trickier than it sounds.
Now to rest and recuperate for the evening. Except for trips to find the wayward dog, water the vegetables, find out why that baby goat is yelling at the top of it's lungs, try to figure out how the hell that goat got in there, get it out and figure out how to keep it out, try to work on the website, collect the eggs from the chickens... Crap! Time for afternoon chores already?
Time to get the baby goats separated from their moms. Baby goats as a rule don't want to be separated from their moms and they can run fast and can jump improbably high obstacles. So she had to chase them down one by one and pen them. Which she accomplished eventually. Time for the momma goats to graze in peace and make milk. After an hour or so feed the chickens, dogs and cats.
Time flies until evening chores. This is much like morning chores. Only worse.
First thing is to let the mommas into the barn. The goats know that this means they will get their chow. The problem is that ALL the goats want that chow. At once. They signify this desire crowding into the doorway en-masse, by leaping in the air, scrambling over each other and doing absolutely anything in their power to reach the goat chow. Naturally the babies have a vested interest in that milk and as far as they're concerned that udder has been away too long already and they try desperately to join their mommas. Herding excited, determined goats in a confined space turns out to be a lot like herding cats. Finally she managed to get all but the correct goat to stay outside and wait until it's their turn and all the babies back in their pens while she milked. Repeat four more times. Finish penning and feeding the goats, haul the bucket back to make dinner, more goat chow, strain the milk...
At least it was only for four days.
Our friend the farmer would add to this making cheese, repairing fences, mending gates, weeding and the thousand and one other tasks that need to be done around the place... on top of running her own business... the one that actually pays the bills.
Worship your local farmer. They deserve it. They really do.
PS- Today's weigh-in: 294Lbs. Honestly I have been stuffing myself shamelessly on all this primal food. I was concerned that I had not lost weight and might even have gained some. Instead I have lost six pounds! Whoo-Hoo!
No comments:
Post a Comment